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A Week in the life of a Computer Columnist ...
Cynical Journalists bashing...
By: Daniel Herrin
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 ear Diary,
Monday: Bunch of email over the weekend, complaining about my column. Really pissed me off. I'll show 'em. Think that was rough, huh? Wait till I reinterpret increased Apple sales. 'Unresearched,' indeed. (Memo to secretary: Is that a word?) I did a LOT of research, pal, or should I say, I got a lot of promo packages.
Tuesday: New column's out. Spend the day at O'Shanes, drinking. Argue with an intern over 'journalistic integrity.'
Wednesday: Editor calls me into his office. He loves the column! Says the phones rang off the hook with complaints. Even got an Apple fact guy on the line! [Dirty gnawing feeling inside: what if they're right?] Editor just wants reaction to my columns, doesn't care what I write or whether I base anything on facts or (as I prefer) my agenda. Learn the intern was fired -- serves her right for talking trash about objectivity and other dirty words.
Thursday: Bill calls -- expects more of the same. Sends me an advance copy of WindowsXXII (CD-ROM won't load, but I tout it anyway in a paragraph I steal from the accompanying flyer). Asks me what I think of WindowsXXIII. Told him I wrote about how it never crashes. Share good laugh.
Friday: Name drop at newspaper party. "Yeah, as Bill Gates was telling me on the phone yesterday..." You could hear a pin drop in a martini glass. Get goose-bumps when I see the editor-in-chief pointing at me while talking to Al Gore.
Saturday: Toss off a column in 15 minutes. Great opener: I claim that Apple's new system is irrelevant (stole that idea from something I read online the other day about 'WindowsXX, Who Cares?') -- and sell it to a dinky Midwest rag. Gotta keep up the Microsoft stuff. My credentials at the Globe rest on my access to Redmond. (Lord knows, I can't make it on impartiality alone! Already tried that!) So I need to keep Bill interested. Don't want to write multi-level marketing copy EVER AGAIN!
Sunday: Would have gone to church to ask for forgiveness, but even I'm not hypocritical enough to ignore what I know I'll do tomorrow. Memo to self: put bad spin on latest news; buy fifth at Pop's on way to work.
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