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Fire at COMDEX
And how they reacted
By: Anonymous
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Article
2002-03-14 07:10:14
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 here was a fire at a recent COMDEX.
When it reached the main exhibition hall: - The Windows 95 users asked the door guard to close all windows and restart the exhibition.
- The Windows 98 users loaded their installation CDROMs to look for a Windows Extinguisher Wizard(tm).
- The Windows NT users said the fire would probably fixed in the next service pack.
- The MacOS users clicked on everything in sight to see if that would affect the fire somehow.
- The OS/2 users reminisced about the much better fire that burned down the OS/2 User's Conference in 1994.
- The mainframe users stopped and waited for the field engineer to arrive.
- The BeOS users commented on how their local fires were much faster and more efficient.
- The UNIX users tried connecting all the stands together with pipes to build a fire engine.
- The SCO users sniffed that the exhibition hall obviously wasn't POSIX compliant.
- The Linux users searched the Internet looking for the hall's source code so they could find out why it caught fire.
- The Amiga users decided there was no fire and went on doing whatever they were doing.
When the fire reached the developer's hall : - The C programmers started looking for a NULL pointer.
- The Pascal programmers sneered that this would never happen at a Pascal developer's conference.
- The C++ programmers argued about which design pattern a Fire Engine template should follow, and whether the hall's construction was full ANSI or not.
- The Assembly Language programmers started to write a very detailed treatise about firefighting techniques.
- The ADA programmers alleged that the fire was not in their original specifications.
- The FORTRAN programmers began muttering about "COMMON something".
- The COBOL programmers started prowling the hall and looking for Y2K bugs.
- The Visual Basic programmers asked the C programmers for help.
When the fire reached the press room : - The Computer Shopper reporter wrote "Microsoft Fire(tm) takes COMDEX by storm"
- The PC Magazine reporter wrote "Blazing 3-D effects herald a new era in computing"
- John Dvorak wrote "Duh. Deadly dull conference, second-rate fire. Who do they think they're kidding?"
- The Business Week reporter wrote "Beleaguered Apple Computer, Inc. refuses to comment on COMDEX fire"
- The Wall Street Journal reporter wrote "High-tech stocks may burn in the near term"
- The MacAddict reporter wrote "Bill Gates should have been here when the Main Hall collapsed"
- The MacWeek reporter wrote "Steve Jobs takes the stage at COMDEX with pyrotechnics"
By the way, nobody actually put the fire out they just built a larger casino on the site afterwards.
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