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Intel-Pentium Bug Humor
Search for the humor in everything...
By: Anonymous
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 he 0.000000000001th new Intel slogan for the Pentium: "We give you the most megaflops."
On the tee-shirt of an inlined skater in Mountain View: "I asked for a refund on my Pentium, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"
The Pentium doesn't have bugs or produce errors; it's just Precision-Impaired.
I heard that Intel lost one of its divisions today...
Top Ten Reasons Why Intel Delayed Announcing the Pentium:
10. Quality control complained about the rattling noises the chip makes whenever it's reset.
9. Intel hoped to outfox AMD developers this time by waiting for them to release their "Pentium" first.
8. Intel's still trying to figure out how to mount a three-foot high cooling tower on a two-inch square package.
7. Marketing's prediction that all of IBM's top executives would be killed by space aliens, followed by IBM engineering's insistence on a return to an Intel strategy, did not appear to pan out.
6. The sales force needs to be retrained to sell a processor that doesn't end in"86".
5. As a result of poor documentation practices, nobody can remember what the function of the WOOF* pin is.
4. Military insisted at the last minute on 8080-compatability mode.
3. Employees complained about being harassed by engineers who offered to demonstrate "Probe Mode."
2. All those millions of dollars in processor research and development were cutting into the CEO's Christmas bonus. and the #1 reason...
1. Intel needed to hire more lawyers first
INTEL STOCK SPLIT ANNOUNCED Santa Clara, CA, 12/2/94 Intel (NASDAQ: INTC) today announced a 3 for 1.99994562416 stock split effective Jan 5, 1995, for stockholders of record as of Dec 9, 1994.
Although analysts were surprised about the strange ratio in the stock split, an Intel spokesman stated that "That's just the way the math worked out!"
Intel also filed a motion with the SEC requesting that it be allowed to publish it's financial reports to only 1 or 2 significant digits stating that: "There are significant efficiencies to be gained, both in the preparation and printing of financial reports. Just as taxpayers can choose to file returns using the whole dollar method, we feel we can get financial reports out much faster if we don't have to rerun all our spreadsheets through a PowerPC to verify them. Besides, most investors only care about the first 2 significant digits anyway!"
In related news, Microsoft Corporation (NASDAQ: MSFT) announced that its chairman, Bill Gates, had filed for personal bankruptcy after discovering that his personal net worth had been overstated by approximately $8 billion due to a undisclosed computer glitch. 
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