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Scientists find new element
Administratium and GATESIDIOM
By: Anonymous
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2002-03-18 07:44:48
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 he heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by University physicists here. The element tentatively named ADMINISTRATIUM (Ad) has no protons or electrons, which means that it has atomic number 0 and falls outside the natural patterns exhibited by other elements. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistants to the vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. The particles are held together by a force involving the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called "memOS" ADMINISTRATIUM is devoid of both protons or electorns.
Because it has no protons or electrons, ADMINISTRATIUM is inert. Nonetheless, it can be detected chemically, in that it seems to impede every reaction in which it is present. According to one of the discoverers. even a small amount of ADMINISTRATIUM made one reaction which normally lasts less than a second take more than four days.
ADMINISTRATIUM has a half-life of approximately three years. it does not actually decay. instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a vice-neutron, assistants to the vice-neutron and certain assistants to the neutron exchange places. Some studies have indicated that its mass actually increases after each reorganization, although this is yet to be explained. Another phenomenon which has been observed, as expected from the mechanics of minute particles, is that the more one tries to pin down the positions of vice neutrons within the structure of ADMINISTRATIUM, the more uncertain those positions ultimately become.
Within in the short time after the discovery was announced, the existence of the element was confirmed in laboratories around the world. In addition, a team at the Microsoft University told a press conference they had been able to create ADMINISTRATIUM in fusion experiments conducted at ordinary room temperature. Using highly sophisticated probability detectors, the team had monitored a stream of memos from a FAX mounted device. Dr. May B. No and her associate, Dr. May B Yes, said the details of their experiment were being kept confidential, pending further development of the data. But, they claimed, there were definitely more memos that came out of the FAX device than went in.
In another experiment, MIS scientists at the site were monitoring e-mail servers when they discovered an even more bizarre elemental reaction. They now claim to have found a new element even heavier than ADMINISTRATIUM. They are calling this new element GATESIDIOM (gT). They are unable to sort out is weight due to continued chaotic activities and unusual clouds of vapor that engulf its inert center, but estimates are 21 Plus or Minus 3 Billion. GATESIDIOM is a euxenite which exhibits a strange black hole effect. This has interferes with government scientific study, forcing researchers to employ sophisticated monitoring equipment to study it radioactivity. A documentary produced on GATESIDIOM, including new video studies of its behavior , will be out this winter. A HARDCOPY will be released for general audiences, with a full DISCLOSURE scheduled for the NEW YEAR.
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