Eric Swalwell

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Eric Michael Swalwell is an obnoxious politician from a district next to me. And he spoke at my work, as a representative of House Committee on Science, Space and Technology. He lead a crusade for knife control (against lifting a ban against pocketknives at airports). I went in open-minded and curious what he had to say about tech, and I left with utter contempt and disgust that this guy was a member of my species. He made me unsure if he was really the most contemptible member of congress (Maxine Waters) wearing whiteface and in drag.


Swalwell spoke at my work. It was billed as a conversation with him about his role on some tech committees, and his experiences in congress. That sounded interesting.

Instead the guy whined about how much all friction in government was Trumps fault, and he mentioned his moronic and math challenged views on guns. Barely touched on tech, other than to mock some 80 year old member of one of his committees that wanted to use Twitter. I felt like I got invited over for dinner, only to find out it was a MLM pitch for used marital aids. Fuck me (and not literally)... I felt gross for just having to listen to his pitch.

Out of respect for the hosts, and contempt for him (and his inability to learn), as well as the desire for future employment (and not getting James Demore'd), I wasn't going to reply or ask questions. In California free speech is only for the far left. But to call Salwell an idiot would be understating the problem. I wanted to use the gym shower after hearing him speak.

He talked about how much his family was conservatives, and the I kept thinking, "ahh Mommy/Daddy issues, that explains his immature foot stomping view of the world". He expressed his contempt for them in subtle ways, and bragged how his wife ruined a holiday meal over a MAGA hat, and I kept thinking, poor family. I'm sure they're just as embarrassed by him, as he is of them. Like families of serial killers, I'd probably change my surname if I was them.

The guy said utterly retarded things like, "15M of these military style weapons in America, we could buy them all back for $100M, so we should do it".

Seriously. I sat there slack jawed, and embarrassed for my company that he wasn't escorted out right then and there. "I'm sorry, you're too dumb to speak at our company, this was a mistake" would have been the correct response. Instead I felt shame at watching some of the head-bobbing affirmations coming from his clueless base.

Let's see:

  • the number is off by half, 30M rifles on the AR platform is more likely
  • these aren't military weapons (no select fire), Democrats think they can make up words because their base is illiterate or illegal, but there are voters who aren't Democrat and know what the words mean. Those games alienate the informed. Granted, most don't vote for them, but then don't whine about how polarized we've become after you start with lies.
  • $6 each for guns worth up to $3,000? Is that really what you think fair value is? How many do you think will come forward at that price? They could part it out and make 10x that, at least.
  • if you have to pay $1,000 each (fair market value for guns that go between $500-3,000), that's $30B not $100M, so the cretin was only off by 300x the cost: democrat math
  • Australia got around 25-30% compliance with their gun buyback (paying fair market value), what do you do with the 20 million people that don't comply? Kick in doors, and create a civil war because you're too fucking stupid to know the difference between a military weapon, and a small game rifle with some decorations that scare you?
  • After Australia did that, they created a great black market for the 80% of guns that weren't confiscated -- creating rich felons out of poor civilians. And Australia is a less industrious and less freedom loving penal colony. That shit would fly less well in the U.S. especially in the era of 3D printers, and when there's a dozen ways to make the gun.

I wanted to ask, what are you going to do to the twenty million that don't comply? How many lives are you willing to sacrifice for your hopolophobia? But I figured the guy is either an idiot, or a liar. Either he doesn't know the basics, or knows his base is too dumb to know them, so it plays well with his base even though he knows better. Either way, a dose of truth wasn't going to change him. And it was just going to piss off those who didn't know better than he did. And it might get me fired because I couldn't think how to ask the question that didn't let my contempt for his seething stupidity/dishonesty leak through.

I wrote him off. I could explain it to him, but it would take crayons... and fascists gotta be who they are. He would either destroy the country for his political gain, or he is mentally not up for the task of cause and effect.



He hit me as the young white-male Maxine Waters. Someone that was an embarrassment to his age, race, gender, party, government, country, and species. There are people in a vegetative state, that are having their last fleeting thoughts as, "man, that guy is stupid", and hating the nursing staff for leaving the TV on the news when this guy shares his views. I not only won't vote for the troll, but while I generally don't judge others... I will smile and silently think less of anyone who says they do.


Written: 2018.05.04