Life Experiences

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Life experiences make us who we are (or influence it). Here's a few stories from my past that made me who I am, or at least influenced it or reflected it.

Nose Job

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My Nose Job (rhinoplasty) was because as a kid I tried to climb a cinderblock-wall, with a loose block at the top, that flattened my nose, and guaranteed I was a mouth breather. I eventually got that fixed, which involved discount plastic surgery, drugs, sexual harassment, and no real regrets
Main article: Nose Job

Marijuana

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My early pot experience was stealing my neighbors brothers stash (age 10) and trying to smoke it using toilet paper as papers. That ended about as poorly as one would expect. A couple years later, we stumbled upon a growers field. We stole pounds of the stuff, and the whole neighborhood of teens and pre-teens was baked for the entire summer. Most kids enjoyed the buzz, but didn't need it, and went back to life once the free supply ran out. We lost at least one to the stoner-for-life career track, as it appeared to derail any aspirations he had in life.
Main article: Marijuana

Cars greatest hits

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Deathrace 2000: Some people tell their kids, "watch out for cars" -- for me that was always an understatement. I was one of those lucky kids that got hit by a car, over and over and over again.

My final score was; Cars:4 Me:0 -- and that was just as a pedestrian, as a driver I had a few more accidents.

Main article: Cars greatest hits

1991 My 2nd Ferret

Ferrets are cute, inquisitive and illegal in California (like everything else).
Main article: 1991 My 2nd Ferret

1981 Paved Paradise and ran me over in a parking lot

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After a trifecta of getting hit by a car, I figured I'd burned out my bad Karma (pun intended). And while my luck held for a year or three, it ran out. Crossing a driveway (entrance/exit) to a strip mall, the driver saw me, then got distracted and sped up and hit me, I face-to-face for a millisecond before he slammed on the brakes and launched me into traffic. Gee thanks. With a little luck and artful dodging, I wasn't too banged up, and the idiot driver had sped off to never be seen from again. Besides a bent wiper, I hope I left some nice scratches across his hood.

1979 You never see it coming

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The 3rd time I got him by a car, was in 9th grade (15), and I was riding against traffic, so "I could see it coming". I got hit from behind, again -- riding against traffic. A lady had seen kids playing the yard, so swerved into the oncoming lane to steer clear, and hadn't seen or expected me. I got hit hard, almost pinned under the car, nothing broke... but got a limp and a totaled bike.

1979 Driving while stoned

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The second time I was hit by a car, an under-age (for driving) friend suggested we drive down to the creek and get baked. Using my best 15 year old judgement, I said "sure". Everything was fine, until we got home, and I got out of the rear door of the station wagon. We live on a slight hill, and he wasn't holding the brake, so proceeded to slowly drive over my left leg. Fortunately, it didn't break my left, but it did some damage and hurt like hell for a while.

1978 Objects in the sideview mirror

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The first time I was hit by a car was when I was 14, and riding along in the bike lane when BANG! I saw stars and was rolling in the dirt and gravel along the side of the road. After I tumbled and skidded to a halt I saw the pickup, with those extended tow-mirror that had hit me in the back of the head. I had lumps and a headache for days. The guy never stopped, I think he did it on purpose.

1994

Pulling a gun (1994, 1980, 1978)

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These are the stories of my experiences pulling a gun to stop crimes, and how it differs from the stereotypes. In my life, I have personally used a gun to end an altercation three times. A rape, an armed car robbery, and a drug dealer or pederast trying to pedal something on a not so helpless young lad.

Main article: Pulling a gun

1991

1987

Skydiving

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Yes, I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. Twice. To me, it was no big deal. I just wanted to experience freefall, and enjoyed flying. I didn't think of it as very dare-devilish, though some others do. I had statistics on my side, but gravity and physics was working for the opposition. Then I met a Hustler Honey, and wanted to jump again.

Main article: Skydiving

1986

Just a burger

I don't know why I am sharing this, but I invited a friend to go for a burger, then had to clarify it meant "just a burger". He was OK with that, but a little perplexed at the added clarification. What else would it mean?

Main article: Just a burger


1978

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After 4 weeks in the Sierra's "camping" now means no room service.

1977

Soccer Camp

I did a soccer camp, had a good time, made friends.
One friend lived in Silverado Canyon (famous for pot in SoCal).
We spent that summer baked, hitchhiking and exploring old mines.