1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. I declare a thumb war!
5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. I use this hand to masturbate!
Before the Internet... the Sears Catalog would get it done.
Q: Why use Google when Jesus has the answers?
A: I'm not going to ask Jesus where to find midget porn!
All men like to think they're marrying nymphomaniacs. After a few years the nympho goes, leaving just the maniac.
Suddenly, Bob found himself the topic of all the office gossip.
Lincoln: Anything is a dildo, if you're brave enough. (Maybe we shouldn't trust every quote we find on the Internet?).
Missing key on my keyboard: it would get worn out. (Fuck it Key)
Never let an opportunity go to waste.
Optimism: it can always get worse... and probably will.
If you ever feel like a scumbag, don't! This guy is inflating his sex doll at a free air pump.
Daughter: Mom, is it true that the baby comes out where the penis goes in?
Mom: Yes honey, that's true.
Daughter: will my teeth break?