My girlfriend asked when I last had sex with someone that wasn't her. I replied, "back in '02".... sounds much better than "February".
Bat cave? Shhh... it's supposed to be a secret.
I wanted a car wash, but what the hell. (Best Hand Job).
Climax High Point? I think I'll just hang here for a while.
Diesel fried chicken. Has a bit of an aftertaste...
A picnic at Donner pass? What's on the menu?
Flight attendant: can I offer you some free head phones?
Guy: Definitely, but how did you know my name is phones?
Plans for the weekend. (Jack. King. Off.)
This is a poorly designed Jesus light-switch.
Liquid Panty Remover? I'm getting me some of that.
Do not hump under any circumstance? Yeah, like I'm going to pay attention to a sign.
Pence, "You should spend more time on your knees"... I knew what he meant, but still...
Dick Cleaners... and wash behind your ears.
Fu King Cleaners. Kerning matters
Pork. The one you love. Punctuation Matters!
That proud moment when you find out your son is as much of a dick as you are!
My Pharmacist doesn't like me? Swallow whore!
The storm has blown several transformers. Optimus Prime approves.