Truth, or Truth in advertising.
Activia (Yogurt): helps you poop!
I want to grow my own food, but I can't find bacon seeds.
Ben and Jerry's: eating away your feelings!
Bugles: edible finger swords!
If your car is running, I'm voting for it! (Better than the alternatives).
Frog parking only, all others will be toad!
Fruit Stripe: tastes great... for 3 seconds!
Hamburger Helper: because Mom's tired!
Hells Angels: right, acute and obtuse!
I checked into the hokey pokey clinic, and I turned myself around. (That's what it's all about).
Hot Pockets: every bite is a different temperature!
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: this tab will NOT open the box!
Lays: Mostly flavored air!
My wife said I never listen to her... or something like that.
Is there ever a day that mattresses aren't on sale?
McDonalds: Because you only have $4!
Mountain Dew: the sports drink for gamers! And coders.
What happens if you're scared half to death, twice?
This is my step ladder... I never knew my real ladder.
Taco Bell: also open when you're sober!
TicTac: feel like a pill popper!
Tyson: almost food!
Unfriending before Facebook!
Waffle House: because it's 2am and you're drunk!