Carpe Donktum

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Carpe Donktum: what if Trump tweeted this picture of a horse?
A twitterer (Carpe Donktum) summed up the state of Twitters leftist outrage mob by imagining Trump tweeting the picture of a horse, and how various outlets would respond:
  • MAGA: This is the most beautiful Horse that was ever created
  • LIBS: You Should Be in Jail, the Horse Deserves Better
  • CNN BREAKING NEWS: President Trump tweeted a horse that was probably thinking bad thoughts, our panel discusses after the break.
  • MSNBC: President Trump tweeted a picture of an Arabian horse, clearly a dog whistle to his Islamophobic base
  • Feminist Twitter: Why does the horse have to be a male? This is just another example of Trumps war on women.
  • Huffington Post: How Stallions are hurting transhorses
  • The Daily Beast: Trump's "Horse Picture" linked to Antisemitism, here is the horses address and social security number.
  • The New York Times: SOURCE says the Horse is the power behind the throne, Trump sits in his office watching gorilla channel all day.
  • ABC: This footage shows the Horse firing upon the Kurds.
  • CBS: Hero Horse or Horse Nazi? Coming up at 10 after Primetime Placeholder 5
  • Buzzfeed: Ten reasons that Arabian Horses are the worst.
  • Newsweek: Horse praised by Trump is tied to a Russian Oligarch who once saw Putin at the Olympics.
  • CNN again: UPDATE, evil horse subpoenaed in Impeachment Hearing set for Wednesday.
  • Washington Post: Trump Horse sent homophobic tweets in 2008 #CancelHorses
  • BLM Twitter: Why the horse gotta be black tho?
  • SPLC: Horses have long been a symbol used by White Supremacists to symbolize strength, Nazis are applauding today.
  • PETA: Horses are not here for your amusement Cheeto Hitler, did you get consent before you captured its soul?
  • Planned Parenthood: Horse Abortion is Horsecare

Commentators

  • Brian Stelter: President Trump tweeted this photo of a horse and did not credit the photographer. Every single day this president defies the norms and attacks the free press, thumbing his nose at decency.
  • Don Lemon: He... tweeted... a horse. I would say this was a new low for this white house... but I... would... be... lying. There has never been a white house... this.. racist.
  • Rachel Maddow: This horse, we found him, and we have his tax returns.
  • Meghan McCain: How dare Trump tweet a picture of this horse, such a beautiful, noble creature, like my father John McCain. *Sobbing*
  • Comey: *Picture of him in a field*
  • Clapper: Throughout history, the men and women of the Intelligence community has been the bridle that steered this country away from danger. President Trump with his every action endangers this nation.
  • LeBron James: Chinese horses are better.
  • Elon Musk: I redesigned the horse and it is way cooler than that.
    • Everyone in Unison: Throw a ball at it
    • Elon Musk: uhhh naw.
  • Greta: I shouldn't be here, YOU HAVE STOLEN MY DREAMS
  • Ben Rhodes: Uhhh I... I can't even.. uhh... thats alot to process.
  • Acosta: I am down here at the border and I am not seeing any horse crisis as the president has claimed. *Karate chops staffer*
  • RussiaGaters: Remember that Putin had his picture taken on a horse, comrade Trump is signaling his boss that he is ready to receive orders.
  • Bill Kristol: It's time the republican party realized that Trump is just a horse trader and his tweets prove it. #Impeach
  • Hannity: Tonight we are going to expose what the Destroy Trump Media doesn't want you to know about this noble horse, later we talk to the great one about horse pedigree
  • Juan Williams: Come on, this horse is clearly a call back to what Trump thinks was a better time... Slavery
  • Kanye: Yo. That's a horse.
    • MSM in Unison: Kanye has gone crazy again

Democrats

  • Elizabeth Warren: This is a mockery of my people, they depended on horses, not for something pretty to look at, but to survive. We need to tax the rich to buy the poor their own horses.
  • Biden: I had a horse just like that when I was in the pony express with Obama.
  • Bernie Sanders: Whats with a horse? You should have a horse. I should have a horse. We should ALL HAVE HORSES. The fat cats, they don't want us to have them, but together, WE ARE GOING TO GET THEM
  • Boot Edge Edge: My husband has a horse like that, we're gay married. Did you know?
  • Tom Steyer: I love horses they are awesome I want to save the horses we should all love horses I have supported horses my whole life I am running for president long pause because I have lots of money.
  • Kamala: That horse should be in jail, and I'm just the cop to do it
  • Adam Schiff: Based on evidence I have seen, this horse was part of an irregular channel of communication between the WH and Ukraine. Feed was likely exchanged for rides, a quid pro quo.
  • Pelosi: This horsh that Tump tweefted, is a clear *hiccup* shignal that he is unqualitied for the othfice of the presidentury
  • AOC: Cows are bad, but horses are like literally the devil. This guy... a cosmopolitan? coming right up... like doesn't care about the environment AT ALL
  • Bloomberg to literally no one: I want to buy that horse and ride it to the white house!
  • Eric Swalwell: We have a president that just tweets things like this and... doesn't... think... about the consequences. It's time someone took the reigns *fart* and lead this country
  • Hillary Clinton: It's times like these that I wish that I could tell every little girl in America that they can have a horse, but in Trump's America this is not the case. #WildHorsesCantStopWomen
  • Amy Klobuchar: I am not nervous, I am just naturally shaky.
  • Tulsi: That is a pretty horse, I don't agree with your politics but that is a nice horse
    • MSM in unison: TULSI IS EVIL

Conclusion

Trump to reporters in front of Marine One: What about the horse? I saw a horse, it was beautiful, did you see it? It was a great big beautiful horse and I thought, what a great horse, I should take a picture. So I did. No conspiracy, you people are so crazy. Its a horse!

P.S.

  • Epstein: I didn't kill myself.


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