Difference between revisions of "How to get ahead in business"

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I think I finally figured out some of the secrets to success in business. Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. Well, here's a little math that might prove helpful.<br />
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I figured the secrets to success in business, using math.<br /><br />We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. Well, here's a little math that might prove helpful.<br /><br />
'''If:''' A=1, B=2, C=3, ... X=24, Y=25, Z=26<br />
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'''IF:''' A=1, B=2, C=3, ... X=24, Y=25, Z=26 '''THEN:'''<br />
'''Then:'''<br />
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* '''H A R D W O R K=98%'''<br />(8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11)<hr>
* H A R D W O R K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%<br />
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* '''K N O W L E D G E =96%'''<br />(11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5)<hr>
* K N O W L E D G E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%<br />
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* '''A T T I T U D E =100%'''<br />(1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5)<hr>
* A T T I T U D E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%<br />
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* '''B U L L S H I T=103%'''<br />(2 21+12+12+19+8+9+20)<br /><hr>
* B U L L S H I T = 2 21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%<br />
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* '''A S S K I S S I N G =118%'''<br />(1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7)<br />
So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.<br />
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So, it stands to reason that:
* A S S K I S S I N G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%<br />
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* hardwork and knowledge will get you close
So people that say they want more than 100% aren't really asking for hardwork, knowledge or positive attitude; they want bullshit or maybe a little ass-kissing.<br />
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* attitude will get you there
I only wish that I'd learned this decades sooner.
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* bullshit will put you over the top.<br />
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People that say they want more than 100% aren't really asking for hardwork, knowledge or positive attitude... they want bullshit or maybe a little ass-kissing. <mark>'''I only wish that I'd learned this decades sooner.'''</mark>
 
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[[Category:Business]] [[Category:Humor]]
 
[[Category:Business]] [[Category:Humor]]
 
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Revision as of 02:23, 15 August 2019

I figured the secrets to success in business, using math.

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. Well, here's a little math that might prove helpful.

IF: A=1, B=2, C=3, ... X=24, Y=25, Z=26 THEN:

  • H A R D W O R K=98%
    (8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11)
  • K N O W L E D G E =96%
    (11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5)
  • A T T I T U D E =100%
    (1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5)
  • B U L L S H I T=103%
    (2 21+12+12+19+8+9+20)

  • A S S K I S S I N G =118%
    (1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7)

So, it stands to reason that:

  • hardwork and knowledge will get you close
  • attitude will get you there
  • bullshit will put you over the top.

People that say they want more than 100% aren't really asking for hardwork, knowledge or positive attitude... they want bullshit or maybe a little ass-kissing. I only wish that I'd learned this decades sooner.