Libertarian Joke

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  • While walking home one evening I came upon a man standing at the edge of a bridge, about to jump. “Wait!” I yelled, and ran over to see what was the matter.
  • “It’s this country,” he lamented. “It’s falling into ruin and there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
  • “Cheer up,” I said. “We’re all in this together. Say, are you a liberal or a conservative?”
  • “I’m a libertarian,” he said.
  • “Me too!” I exclaimed. “See, you’re not alone. Are you a free-market libertarian or a libertarian socialist?”
  • “Free-market libertarian,” he said.
  • “Same here!” I said. “Paleo-libertarian or neo-libertarian?”
  • “Paleo-libertarian,” he said.
  • “Hey, so am I! Chicago or Austrian school of economics?”
  • “Austrian,” he said.
  • “Me too! Hayekian or Rothbardian?”
  • “Rothbardian,” he said.
  • “Same as me! Consequentialist or deontological?”
  • “Consequentialist,” he said.
  • “Die, statist!” I yelled as I pushed him off the bridge....


Did I say joke? I meant sad truth. Hey, if you could compromise away your beliefs you'd be in one of the other parties. And if you didn't care, you'd be a moderate or independent. So the big-L Libertarians can be a little nuts on this stuff. Like Democrats with their litmus tests, only with a triple digit IQ.

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