Army sayings

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Combat Engineers

  • If it can't be fixed with duct tape and a crowbar, it can't be fixed
  • There exists no problem which cannot be solved by a direct application of high explosives


  • Hey, this place sucks! Let's live here!
  • There's got to be a harder way to do this


  • Hey, #$@&%*! man! #$@&%*! and let's #$@&%*! #$@&%*! until we #$@&%*! and then #$@&%*! some beers!!!!


  • Friendly fire - isn't.
  • You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
  • If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
  • Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
  • If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
  • Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
  • If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
  • The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: (a) When they're ready.(b) When you're not.
  • There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
  • The easy way is always mined.
  • Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
  • Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
  • When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
  • Incoming fire has the right of way.
  • No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
  • No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
  • If the enemy is within range, so are you.
  • The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  • Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
  • Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
  • Tracers work both ways.
  • Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
  • Weather ain't neutral.
  • The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
  • Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
  • Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.


  • The one item you need is always in short supply.
  • When in doubt, empty your magazine.
  • The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
  • Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
  • The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
  • The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
  • Combat experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  • The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for crertain what they don't want.
  • To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
  • A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
  • Beer Math --> 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
  • Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
  • If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
  • The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
  • There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
  • Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.


If I think it's funny, it should get indexed here.