Bumper Stickers

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  • "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
  • "I love cats...they taste just like chicken"
  • "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
  • "Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
  • "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
  • "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
  • "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
  • "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather....Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."
  • "Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"
  • "The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
  • "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
  • "Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
  • "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
  • "When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
  • "Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
  • "I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
  • "Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
  • "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
  • "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
  • "It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."


  • "Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
  • "Wink, I'll do the rest!"
  • "It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
  • "Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!"
  • "Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"
  • "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
  • "Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
  • "We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
  • "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
  • "He who laughs last thinks slowest"
  • "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
  • "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
  • "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
  • "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy." "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
  • "I souport publik edekasion"
  • "The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."
  • "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
  • "Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
  • "There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
  • "Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
  • "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
  • "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."
  • "I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."
  • "I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. "
  • "Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off."
  • "I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening."


If I think it's funny, it should get indexed here.