Chainsaw Bayonet

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The latest double-face palm from USAToday was not over [their bad explanation of what a bump stock is] (or ignoring that people can do the same thing with a belt loop or shoe string). Then they went full retard in explaining what makes AR-15's so dangerous, all the accessories that you can mount (on most other guns)... including the dreaded, "chainsaw bayonet". Seriously. I thought it was a joke. But I checked, it was real article.... then they took it further, and they promoted it with a tweet and a custom animation on the accessories for a AR-15, again including the chainsaw bayonet. This of course, lead to a lot of mocking under the predictabl #ChainsawBayonet, including the sharkwithfriggenlaser, velocoraptor and a smaller AR-15 under your AR-15 accessories.


When laughed at that it's not a real accessory, USSAToday offered a correction/clarification.... "The [Texas] shooter did not use a chainsaw bayonet."

Like that was the problem with their article? Someone needs to explain, "they were mocking you for mentioning it as a serious accessory, not because you originally falsely inferred that the Texas shooter might have used one".

It's real, kinda...

Ironically, there really is a chainsaw attachment, which is probably how they got duped. A few games have used the chainsaw attachment (Dead Space 2, Gears of War, etc) as an absurd weapon (like the infamous BFG).

So some people made spoof chainsaw attachments (in real life)[1], but they made it to mock the absurdity of people afraid of guns, by putting a chainsaw on the end of a boom-stick, as if that would make the gun more dangerous. And those games were probably making fun of a movie (Army of Darkness, etc) that used chainsaws, when a gun would do fine without it. But it's not a real accessory (as in something that makes the gun more usable or lethal). They make these devices as a novelty, mocking movies or games, that itself was mocking people that don't know better.

They missed the point that a pointy stick (bayonet), or chainsaw, on the end of a gun that can touch you at 1,000+ yards, doesn’t really change the lethality, just the looks. (Only useful for zombies in a game). And you could mount the chainsaw to a stick or your car with equal effect (or just use it by itself). It doesn't make for a good chainsaw or zombie killer, and you could attach a chainsaw to any other gun, or a car, or baseball bat. It's absurd uselessness is what makes it funny.

A single gun person on staff could have prevented it, but they had no one.

So USA was so mocked that some people started putting fake (or in this case a real) chainsaw on the end of AR-15’s, to mock them and the gun-controllers that believed the report. It's like cow-tipping, or snipe hunting, you have to be a rube to fall for it. USSAToday, was a complete rube. And I'm still not sure they recognize it, even after it's been explained to them. Slowly. A few times. As they refuse to offer a retraction.

Almost 3 years later

Chainsaw Bayonet2020.jpg

OK. this is funny... Almost 3 years after USA Today showed their gun illiteracy by showing dangerous accessories that could be put under AR-15’s, including a chainsaw. (All to scare their rubes/audience). Eventually one was going to have to be found in a raid. Televising it as scary is double-face-palm silly, and just reminds us that USA Today is stupid, and even years later, the lesser news channels aren't much better.


📚 References

USA Today
USAToday has a long history of dumb, and they should have been renamed USSA (United Socialist States of America) because that seems to be their bend/lean. But here's an example of their dumb.