Nobel Peace Prize

From iGeek
Jump to: navigation, search

The Nobel prizes for Physics, Chemistry, and economics are awarded by a committee from the Swedish Academy of Science. The peace price by a committee of five people elected by the Norwegian Parliament (partisan hacks).

Famous Nobel Peace Prize laureates:

  • Hitler and Stalin were nominated but didn't win
  • Barack Obama: the only Peace Prize winner to drone-bomb another one
  • Jimmy Carter for losing his fight with a Swamp Rabbit... (and being there when Israel and Egypt adopted peace)
  • Yasser Arafat won it for the most prolific use of suicide bombers
  • Irena Sendler was nominated for saving 25,000 Jewish children from the Nazi's (and was tortured for it)... but that year they gave it to Al Gore instead, for best use of an erroneous PowerPoint presentation on Global Warming (which had nothing to do with peace)
  • Dr. Antonio Moniz won it for creating the lobotomy (aka the Democrat maker)
  • Lê Đức Thọ (Viet Cong): for finally capitulating to the U.S.'s demands for peace... that his side ended up breaking a couple years later, and resulted in millions more south-asians dead
  • Kofi Annan: best use of corruption with his arms for food deal with Saddam Hussien
  • Cordell Hull: helped create the UN, and anti-immigration position that sent thousands of Jews back to the Holocaust
  • Fritz Haber: for being inventor/proponent of Chlorine Gas in WWI
  • Mikhail Gorbachev: for sending the KGB and military into the Baltic States
  • Harald Zur Hausen: discovering that HPV causes cervical cancer -- and AstraZeneca influenced two committee members to get him that prize, because they owned the patents to two different HPV vaccines

Worthy Recipients:

  • Teddy Roosevelt won the prize for brokering the peace treaty that ended the Russo-Japanese war.

Never got it (despite earning one):

  • Mahatma Gandhi never got one: he was vegetarian
  • Winston Churchill
  • Václav Havel
  • Corazon Aquino