Shit Happens

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Shit Happens: a phrase as old as I am.... using humor to understand the truth. The following table about religious truths is a a humorous poke at the religions of the world. However, even though it is humor, it has deeper meanings and leads to deeper understanding.

How does shit happen?

The primary difference among these views is their perception, not the reality. We all perceive the same thing "Shit Happens" in our own way. "Shit happens" then becomes a universal truth, and everything else is just the way we express it.

  • Taoism : Shit Happens
  • Catholicism : If shit happens, you deserve it.
  • Confucianism : Confucius say "Shit Happens"
  • Hunduism : This shit has happened before.
  • Islam : If shit happens it is the Will of Allah.
  • Radical Islam : Let's blow shit up.
  • Judaism : Why does shit always happen to us?
  • Johovah's Witnesses : Knock Knock.... shit happening.
  • Amishism : Shit happens in buggies.
  • Mormonism : All my wives have shit happening.
  • Protestantism : Shit won't happen, if I work harder.
  • 7th Day Advensists : Shit happens on Saturday.
  • Rastafarianism : Can you smoke this shit?
  • Pastafarianism : Are those noodles in your shit?
  • Hare Krishna : Shit happens, Rama Rama Ding Dong
  • Atheism : No Shit?
  • T.V. Evangelism : Send more shit
  • Environmentalism : We have to stop this shit!
  • Progressivism : You need to stop that shit!
  • Vegitarianism : Look, I'm a salad shooter.
  • Veganism : My shit is greener than your shit.
  • Paganism : Let's give each shit its own name.
  • Shintoism : Shit happens spiritually and naturally.
  • Buddhism : If shit happens, it is not really shit.
  • Zen Buddhism : What is the sound of shit happening?

Glass of Water

Shit happens.jpg

Or to put it another way:

  • To the optimist a glass is half full.
  • To the pessimist a glass is half empty.
  • To the realist it is half a glass of water.
  • To an economist you need a smaller glass.
  • To a scientist you need more water.
  • To an engineer the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
  • To a chemist it is merely Crystallized Silica and with H20.


Know what you are; and try to understand the others point of views.

We must strive to understand others perceptions and expressions, if only to help us understand better our own perceptions. If we can understand others views, we may find common ground making each others views much more tolerable.


Written 1993.01.17