The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
I'm not hugely a fan of self help books, after you read a few dozen, they all seem to look alike with just a different schtick. But the book was "The Subtle Art of not giving a fuck". Chapter one is beating the title into the ground, but after that it gets interesting with anecdotes about perspective. Some of the stories were brilliant (even if I knew them from before), and I walked away quite happy having listened to it.
|Setting the right goals - If you set a goal like "I want to lose 50 lbs.", the process is that you're setting yourself up for failure. The whole time they're achieving their goal, they're upset because they haven't hit their goal. The voice in the head says, "not there yet... not there yet... I'm failing". Then when they finally do hit goal, after a tough journey, they're like, "Oh, congrats to me... now what?" |
Then they have to set another goal that they're failing at, until they get there and get an instant of satisfaction, then set another goal. Etc... it's a lot of failure for a few moments of let-down/success. They're addicted to failing, because that's been the process/training they've given themselves.
The better goals are process goals that you're succeeding at daily. "I'm going to wake up today, and succeed at following a plan"... "I'm going to do something nice for someone else, each day". Things where you can wallow in the little successes of the journey, and let the destinations will come to you. Then you're programming yourself with the process.
|Rockstars and letdowns - A quick spoiler, but one of the key take-aways of the book was the story about two "failed" Rockstars and how they dealt with it.
The lessons were that Pete Best was able to set a better goal, or adapt to changing goals. While Mustaine was too focused on the wrong goal to be happy with the goals he had achieved or exceeded.
So I hope you live in the moment, enjoy right now, and recognize that today you're doing something good. Set the process goals and wallow in them, and the daily successes by following them. And if you keep doing that, you'll win, whether you hit some arbitrary/made-up goal or not.