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  • File:1991.Ferret2.jpg
    Animals love me. This ferret came up to me, and adopted me.
    (711 × 397 (295 KB)) - 00:03, 9 February 2019
  • File:1991.Ferret.jpg
    Animals love me. This ferret came up to me, and adopted me as it's owner
    (711 × 501 (342 KB)) - 23:59, 8 February 2019
  • File:KissForWhiskey.jpg
    Me: thanks for all you do for me *leans in for a kiss*.<br />Liquor Store Clerk: can you just pay for the wh
    (800 × 800 (114 KB)) - 12:35, 15 October 2019
  • File:KonaAndMe.jpg
    ...e with a surcharge, but they honored the Costco discount. (They under-paid me for the trade-in, but it was convenient).
    (960 × 720 (85 KB)) - 23:25, 27 April 2019
  • File:PlaysShootMeNow.jpg
    Abe Lincoln: Fuckin' wife dragging me to another stupid play. Someone shoot me now.<br />
    (720 × 687 (30 KB)) - 13:22, 23 October 2019
  • File:UmbrellaConvo.JPG
    ...nting to learn about their culture. Then the Bartender cut me off and told me they were patio umbrellas.
    (640 × 640 (89 KB)) - 19:08, 11 October 2019
  • File:DirtyLaundryTalks.jpg
    Washer: I like it dirty, I want you inside me. <br /> Dirty Laundry: OMG, you're gonna make me wet.
    (537 × 537 (43 KB)) - 18:47, 7 January 2020
  • File:OldCowJoke.jpg
    ...He said, they fed me the best food, got me drunk, the daughter slept with me, and all I did is tell them I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I just killed
    (937 × 960 (100 KB)) - 12:12, 23 January 2020
  • File:BernieFarieTales.jpg
    ...Fairy Tales read to kids... tell me again how the rich guy is going to buy me a free X-Box and stuff...
    (960 × 807 (141 KB)) - 18:33, 19 August 2019
  • File:BitcoinPriceOfCollege.jpg
    Me: I can't believe it increased by 1500%<br /> Me: I was talking about college tuition since 1980!
    (768 × 825 (56 KB)) - 11:21, 28 August 2019
  • File:TurnAroundBrightEyes.jpg
    Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never comin' round Me: Every now and... [BZZT!] {Gets Tazed!}
    (720 × 618 (28 KB)) - 18:28, 23 August 2019
  • File:StopOppressingMe.jpg
    Stop oppressing me!
    (320 × 301 (29 KB)) - 21:29, 13 August 2019
  • File:PullOut2.jpg
    Did you nut inside me? Why do you ask?
    (773 × 782 (102 KB)) - 13:53, 17 August 2019
  • File:FB-DontLeave.jpg
    Please don't leave me.
    (302 × 362 (15 KB)) - 23:05, 5 August 2019
  • File:Quill.jpg
    Send me your complaints with quill and ink.
    (320 × 414 (31 KB)) - 00:05, 12 August 2019
  • File:StrawFlag.jpg
    Don't sip on me.
    (960 × 652 (34 KB)) - 13:10, 24 September 2019
  • File:TrustMeImSmart.jpeg
    Trust me, I'm smart.
    (600 × 511 (44 KB)) - 09:59, 23 August 2019
  • File:ThisStatueOffendsMe.jpg
    This statue offends me, please remove it.
    (293 × 440 (35 KB)) - 10:45, 25 August 2019
  • File:WellFedTat.jpg
    Well Fed: put food in me.
    (494 × 250 (15 KB)) - 13:54, 4 November 2019
  • File:Tits.jpg
    I have tits, now give me free stuff!
    (180 × 180 (16 KB)) - 21:31, 13 August 2019
  • File:SummerWinter.jpg
    Summer and winter me in the produce department.
    (750 × 772 (152 KB)) - 13:40, 17 August 2019
  • File:ElectionDoll.jpg
    Show me on this Doll where the election hurt you.
    (320 × 203 (15 KB)) - 19:14, 23 August 2019
  • File:BLM-GhettoStomped.jpg
    Black Lives Matters Ghetto Stomped me for being white...
    (180 × 119 (36 KB)) - 10:55, 19 August 2019
  • File:MargaritaThinkingAboutme.jpg
    I wonder if there's a margarita out there somewhere, thinking about me too?
    (564 × 564 (21 KB)) - 11:11, 27 September 2019
  • File:LiquidPantyRemover.jpg
    Liquid Panty Remover? I'm getting me some of that.
    (402 × 202 (12 KB)) - 16:14, 17 August 2019
  • File:SwallowWhore.jpg
    My Pharmacist doesn't like me? Swallow whore!
    (600 × 701 (37 KB)) - 12:44, 24 August 2019
  • File:EdParker.jpg
    Me and Mr. Ed (at the granting of my 3rd Degree).
    (986 × 780 (261 KB)) - 19:56, 28 July 2021
  • File:DogWithBone.jpg
    Just hold your bone like a normal dog and stop embarrassing me.
    (296 × 426 (40 KB)) - 22:15, 1 January 2020
  • File:ThaiGF.jpg
    Is my Thai girlfriend really a guy? Something inside me says yes.
    (1,440 × 1,300 (77 KB)) - 17:02, 9 January 2020
  • File:SoleimaniTrustMe.jpeg
    Trust me, Trump won't be President forever... just wait him out.
    (480 × 463 (37 KB)) - 00:30, 6 January 2020
  • File:MaddowCollar.jpg
    Maddow Collar: the doc said it'll stop me from chewing my nuts. Maddow Collar: the doc said it'll stop me from chewing my nuts.
    (599 × 573 (41 KB)) - 16:19, 19 August 2019
  • File:TrumpOnceInOffice.png
    So you predicted Trump would lose, tell me more what he'll do once in office.
    (320 × 215 (150 KB)) - 18:26, 5 August 2019
  • File:BarInShower.jpeg
    The doctor told me to put a bar in the shower! So I did.
    (412 × 600 (78 KB)) - 16:36, 20 September 2019
  • File:Ponys.png
    I wish ponies could talk: they'd tell me Sanders doesn't know shit about economics. I wish ponies could talk: they'd tell me Sanders doesn't know shit about economics.
    (320 × 310 (200 KB)) - 18:24, 19 August 2019
  • File:AcostaGarrison.jpg
    [[Jim Acosta]], why won't anyone take me seriously?!! Waaah!
    (2,040 × 1,553 (567 KB)) - 19:01, 26 August 2019
  • File:EyebrowTattoo.jpg
    Please tell me those are drawn on, and not a tattoo.
    (600 × 725 (38 KB)) - 13:49, 4 November 2019
  • File:SocialistSandcastles.jpg
    Socialist Sandcastle Stomp: Stop having a better sandcastle than me!
    (180 × 153 (8 KB)) - 19:52, 18 August 2019
  • File:TrumpRacist.jpg
    [[Is Trump a racist?]] Show me the evidence.
    (320 × 180 (34 KB)) - 22:14, 20 August 2019
  • File:FavoriteFlour.jpg
    My asked me if I knew her favorite flower was. Apparently "Gold Medal All Purpose" was
    (634 × 400 (42 KB)) - 10:56, 27 September 2019
  • File:Econ-KeynesHelp.jpg
    Daddy told me about Keynesian economics, I thought I'd help.
    (180 × 133 (9 KB)) - 13:11, 19 August 2019
  • File:Fb-Stupid.jpg
    Let me wash the stupid off that... hey wait, the stupid isn't coming off!
    (180 × 101 (8 KB)) - 23:07, 19 August 2019
  • File:BaghdadiDogBarking.jpg
    Baghdadi... Does anyone else hear a dog barking, or is it just me?
    (640 × 581 (33 KB)) - 11:59, 30 October 2019
  • File:BernieNegan.jpg
    Who said it better, "Give me your stuff, or I'll kill you!" (Negan or Bernie)
    (960 × 960 (84 KB)) - 18:22, 19 August 2019
  • File:SettledResearch.jpg
    Me: Cool, then we can defund any more research!
    (446 × 256 (17 KB)) - 12:36, 8 October 2019
  • File:WithOrAgainst.jpg
    You're either with me, or you're a fascist, Nazi, racist, xenophobic, homophobic hate-monger.
    (480 × 644 (48 KB)) - 14:15, 18 August 2019
  • File:Clock-WMD.png
    I don't always build a WMD, but when I do, Obama invites me to the Whitehouse.
    (320 × 402 (253 KB)) - 10:32, 19 August 2019
  • File:ThugslifeStraw.jpg
    I didn't choose the thugs life, the thug life chose me. (Kid with crazy straw).
    (564 × 564 (59 KB)) - 13:24, 24 September 2019
  • File:DressWonderWoman.jpeg
    Boss told me, Dress for the job you want. Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting dressed like
    (469 × 367 (35 KB)) - 09:10, 1 October 2019
  • File:IHaventPeaked.jpg
    Me: Awfully bold of you to assume that I've peaked!
    (960 × 820 (79 KB)) - 13:54, 3 November 2019
  • File:GreedAndGunsOrElse.png
    Greed and guns are what's wrong with America: now give me your money or guys with guns will throw you in prison.
    (180 × 135 (61 KB)) - 18:24, 19 August 2019

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