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  • File:1991.Ferret2.jpg
    Animals love me. This ferret came up to me, and adopted me.
    (711 × 397 (295 KB)) - 00:03, 9 February 2019
  • File:1991.Ferret.jpg
    Animals love me. This ferret came up to me, and adopted me as it's owner
    (711 × 501 (342 KB)) - 23:59, 8 February 2019
  • File:KissForWhiskey.jpg
    Me: thanks for all you do for me *leans in for a kiss*.<br />Liquor Store Clerk: can you just pay for the wh
    (800 × 800 (114 KB)) - 12:35, 15 October 2019
  • File:KonaAndMe.jpg
    ...e with a surcharge, but they honored the Costco discount. (They under-paid me for the trade-in, but it was convenient).
    (960 × 720 (85 KB)) - 23:25, 27 April 2019
  • File:PlaysShootMeNow.jpg
    Abe Lincoln: Fuckin' wife dragging me to another stupid play. Someone shoot me now.<br />
    (720 × 687 (30 KB)) - 13:22, 23 October 2019
  • File:UmbrellaConvo.JPG
    ...nting to learn about their culture. Then the Bartender cut me off and told me they were patio umbrellas.
    (640 × 640 (89 KB)) - 19:08, 11 October 2019
  • File:DirtyLaundryTalks.jpg
    Washer: I like it dirty, I want you inside me. <br /> Dirty Laundry: OMG, you're gonna make me wet.
    (537 × 537 (43 KB)) - 18:47, 7 January 2020
  • File:OldCowJoke.jpg
    ...He said, they fed me the best food, got me drunk, the daughter slept with me, and all I did is tell them I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I just killed
    (937 × 960 (100 KB)) - 12:12, 23 January 2020
  • File:BernieFarieTales.jpg
    ...Fairy Tales read to kids... tell me again how the rich guy is going to buy me a free X-Box and stuff...
    (960 × 807 (141 KB)) - 18:33, 19 August 2019
  • File:BitcoinPriceOfCollege.jpg
    Me: I can't believe it increased by 1500%<br /> Me: I was talking about college tuition since 1980!
    (768 × 825 (56 KB)) - 11:21, 28 August 2019
  • File:TurnAroundBrightEyes.jpg
    Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never comin' round Me: Every now and... [BZZT!] {Gets Tazed!}
    (720 × 618 (28 KB)) - 18:28, 23 August 2019
  • File:StopOppressingMe.jpg
    Stop oppressing me!
    (320 × 301 (29 KB)) - 21:29, 13 August 2019
  • File:PullOut2.jpg
    Did you nut inside me? Why do you ask?
    (773 × 782 (102 KB)) - 13:53, 17 August 2019
  • File:FB-DontLeave.jpg
    Please don't leave me.
    (302 × 362 (15 KB)) - 23:05, 5 August 2019
  • File:Quill.jpg
    Send me your complaints with quill and ink.
    (320 × 414 (31 KB)) - 00:05, 12 August 2019
  • File:StrawFlag.jpg
    Don't sip on me.
    (960 × 652 (34 KB)) - 13:10, 24 September 2019
  • File:TrustMeImSmart.jpeg
    Trust me, I'm smart.
    (600 × 511 (44 KB)) - 09:59, 23 August 2019
  • File:ThisStatueOffendsMe.jpg
    This statue offends me, please remove it.
    (293 × 440 (35 KB)) - 10:45, 25 August 2019
  • File:WellFedTat.jpg
    Well Fed: put food in me.
    (494 × 250 (15 KB)) - 13:54, 4 November 2019
  • File:Tits.jpg
    I have tits, now give me free stuff!
    (180 × 180 (16 KB)) - 21:31, 13 August 2019
  • File:SummerWinter.jpg
    Summer and winter me in the produce department.
    (750 × 772 (152 KB)) - 13:40, 17 August 2019
  • File:ElectionDoll.jpg
    Show me on this Doll where the election hurt you.
    (320 × 203 (15 KB)) - 19:14, 23 August 2019
  • File:BLM-GhettoStomped.jpg
    Black Lives Matters Ghetto Stomped me for being white...
    (180 × 119 (36 KB)) - 10:55, 19 August 2019
  • File:MargaritaThinkingAboutme.jpg
    I wonder if there's a margarita out there somewhere, thinking about me too?
    (564 × 564 (21 KB)) - 11:11, 27 September 2019
  • File:LiquidPantyRemover.jpg
    Liquid Panty Remover? I'm getting me some of that.
    (402 × 202 (12 KB)) - 16:14, 17 August 2019
  • File:SwallowWhore.jpg
    My Pharmacist doesn't like me? Swallow whore!
    (600 × 701 (37 KB)) - 12:44, 24 August 2019
  • File:EdParker.jpg
    Me and Mr. Ed (at the granting of my 3rd Degree).
    (986 × 780 (261 KB)) - 19:56, 28 July 2021
  • File:DogWithBone.jpg
    Just hold your bone like a normal dog and stop embarrassing me.
    (296 × 426 (40 KB)) - 22:15, 1 January 2020
  • File:ThaiGF.jpg
    Is my Thai girlfriend really a guy? Something inside me says yes.
    (1,440 × 1,300 (77 KB)) - 17:02, 9 January 2020
  • File:SoleimaniTrustMe.jpeg
    Trust me, Trump won't be President forever... just wait him out.
    (480 × 463 (37 KB)) - 00:30, 6 January 2020
  • File:MaddowCollar.jpg
    Maddow Collar: the doc said it'll stop me from chewing my nuts. Maddow Collar: the doc said it'll stop me from chewing my nuts.
    (599 × 573 (41 KB)) - 16:19, 19 August 2019
  • File:TrumpOnceInOffice.png
    So you predicted Trump would lose, tell me more what he'll do once in office.
    (320 × 215 (150 KB)) - 18:26, 5 August 2019
  • File:BarInShower.jpeg
    The doctor told me to put a bar in the shower! So I did.
    (412 × 600 (78 KB)) - 16:36, 20 September 2019
  • File:Ponys.png
    I wish ponies could talk: they'd tell me Sanders doesn't know shit about economics. I wish ponies could talk: they'd tell me Sanders doesn't know shit about economics.
    (320 × 310 (200 KB)) - 18:24, 19 August 2019
  • File:AcostaGarrison.jpg
    [[Jim Acosta]], why won't anyone take me seriously?!! Waaah!
    (2,040 × 1,553 (567 KB)) - 19:01, 26 August 2019
  • File:EyebrowTattoo.jpg
    Please tell me those are drawn on, and not a tattoo.
    (600 × 725 (38 KB)) - 13:49, 4 November 2019
  • File:SocialistSandcastles.jpg
    Socialist Sandcastle Stomp: Stop having a better sandcastle than me!
    (180 × 153 (8 KB)) - 19:52, 18 August 2019
  • File:TrumpRacist.jpg
    [[Is Trump a racist?]] Show me the evidence.
    (320 × 180 (34 KB)) - 22:14, 20 August 2019
  • File:FavoriteFlour.jpg
    My asked me if I knew her favorite flower was. Apparently "Gold Medal All Purpose" was
    (634 × 400 (42 KB)) - 10:56, 27 September 2019
  • File:Econ-KeynesHelp.jpg
    Daddy told me about Keynesian economics, I thought I'd help.
    (180 × 133 (9 KB)) - 13:11, 19 August 2019
  • File:Fb-Stupid.jpg
    Let me wash the stupid off that... hey wait, the stupid isn't coming off!
    (180 × 101 (8 KB)) - 23:07, 19 August 2019
  • File:BaghdadiDogBarking.jpg
    Baghdadi... Does anyone else hear a dog barking, or is it just me?
    (640 × 581 (33 KB)) - 11:59, 30 October 2019
  • File:BernieNegan.jpg
    Who said it better, "Give me your stuff, or I'll kill you!" (Negan or Bernie)
    (960 × 960 (84 KB)) - 18:22, 19 August 2019
  • File:SettledResearch.jpg
    Me: Cool, then we can defund any more research!
    (446 × 256 (17 KB)) - 12:36, 8 October 2019
  • File:WithOrAgainst.jpg
    You're either with me, or you're a fascist, Nazi, racist, xenophobic, homophobic hate-monger.
    (480 × 644 (48 KB)) - 14:15, 18 August 2019
  • File:Clock-WMD.png
    I don't always build a WMD, but when I do, Obama invites me to the Whitehouse.
    (320 × 402 (253 KB)) - 10:32, 19 August 2019
  • File:ThugslifeStraw.jpg
    I didn't choose the thugs life, the thug life chose me. (Kid with crazy straw).
    (564 × 564 (59 KB)) - 13:24, 24 September 2019
  • File:DressWonderWoman.jpeg
    Boss told me, Dress for the job you want. Now I'm in a disciplinary meeting dressed like
    (469 × 367 (35 KB)) - 09:10, 1 October 2019
  • File:IHaventPeaked.jpg
    Me: Awfully bold of you to assume that I've peaked!
    (960 × 820 (79 KB)) - 13:54, 3 November 2019
  • File:GreedAndGunsOrElse.png
    Greed and guns are what's wrong with America: now give me your money or guys with guns will throw you in prison.
    (180 × 135 (61 KB)) - 18:24, 19 August 2019
  • File:VasalineShower.jpg
    She used Vaseline to give me a hand-job. I came 3 times in the shower trying to wash it all off.
    (750 × 773 (105 KB)) - 13:54, 17 August 2019
  • File:SimsonsClimate.jpg
    Simpsons on Climate: The TV told me that if I pay money to the government, the weather will be gooder.
    (530 × 540 (27 KB)) - 19:09, 4 October 2019
  • File:PP-Penis.jpg
    ...like penis's to protest gun control, job-killing taxes, and open borders? Me neither. ...like penis's to protest gun control, job-killing taxes, and open borders? Me neither.
    (180 × 233 (13 KB)) - 22:06, 18 August 2019
  • File:Fb-Asshole.jpg
    Only God can judge me! OK, you're an asshole!
    (180 × 265 (14 KB)) - 12:56, 25 August 2019
  • File:Ghetto.jpg
    Show me a ghetto, and I'll show you a democrat run city.
    (180 × 118 (12 KB)) - 22:53, 18 August 2019
  • File:HorseStopYelling.png
    I'm just a Horse stop yelling at me!.
    (320 × 261 (182 KB)) - 11:52, 17 September 2019
  • File:FB-Spying.jpg
    My Dad told me you're spying on us!<br />
    (640 × 640 (50 KB)) - 23:12, 5 August 2019
  • File:SexResemblance.jpg
    I don't see the resemblance. Me either. Cat and beaver up-skirting.
    (499 × 616 (124 KB)) - 11:50, 17 September 2019
  • File:SantoPrancersNext.jpg
    Dear Santa, bring me what I want for XMas, or Prancer is next!
    (456 × 370 (43 KB)) - 13:27, 20 August 2019
  • File:ObamaInADress.jpeg
    Call me Obama in a Dress. (Not fair: Obama was better looking, and only wears dress
    (474 × 256 (22 KB)) - 09:09, 1 October 2019
  • File:Seasonal-BadPumpkin.jpeg
    Bad Pumpkin: come at me bro!
    (320 × 250 (28 KB)) - 13:42, 20 August 2019
  • File:Sobriety.jpg
    Me: It's not about how many times you fall, it's how many times you get up.<br Me: It's not about how many times you fall, it's how many times you get up.<br
    (512 × 600 (54 KB)) - 12:19, 22 January 2020
  • File:BulletBits.JPG
    I found these automatic weapon bullets at the local gas station. People make me sick!
    (539 × 720 (85 KB)) - 22:45, 15 July 2019
  • File:Trans2.jpg
    .../Bachelors in Feminist Studies, crime record from Antifa, nobody will hire me: it's call Capitalisms fault! .../Bachelors in Feminist Studies, crime record from Antifa, nobody will hire me: it's call Capitalisms fault!
    (480 × 378 (34 KB)) - 16:30, 17 August 2019
  • File:TalkLikeAnIdiot.jpg
    Talk to me like you're a fucking idiot. "Nobody needs an AR-15".... THAT'S PERFECT!
    (1,080 × 1,281 (96 KB)) - 10:08, 23 August 2019
  • File:PetcoInterview.png
    [Me]: *slowly pushes their paperwork off the desk*<br />
    (888 × 150 (40 KB)) - 17:29, 19 September 2019
  • File:FB-SharedWObama.jpg
    ...2008 and 2012 and bragged about it. Now I'm going to ask congress to help me censor conservatives.
    (960 × 960 (74 KB)) - 23:30, 5 August 2019
  • File:RapperEpstein.jpg
    Is it worth it? Let me work it. I put my thing down, flip it, and reverse it. Edicius timmoc tndid
    (638 × 960 (63 KB)) - 18:08, 1 November 2019
  • File:ChainEatingSmoking.jpg
    Sometimes the stress of being a kid would get me to chain-eat a whole pack!
    (525 × 502 (35 KB)) - 12:38, 15 October 2019
  • File:ImpeachmentBidenTrump.jpg
    Let me get this straight... the dems want to impeach a President, for trying to ex
    (500 × 500 (34 KB)) - 19:11, 4 October 2019
  • File:AcastaHypocrisy.jpg
    [[Jim Acosta]] the cry-bully and careless arrow shooter : Trump fans make me feel threatened. {{Branco}}
    (600 × 429 (226 KB)) - 19:00, 26 August 2019
  • File:TurkeysWorriedAboutFarmer.jpeg
    Something is up, the Farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.
    (564 × 392 (43 KB)) - 11:53, 17 September 2019
  • File:PlanetOfApesMoon.jpeg
    Let me get this straight... Charlton Heston only recognizes earth when he sees the
    (480 × 577 (83 KB)) - 14:25, 19 October 2019
  • File:RussianAllyOrNot.jpeg
    Riddle me this1 How can Trump start a war with a Russian ally, if Trump is a Russian
    (540 × 765 (97 KB)) - 00:31, 6 January 2020
  • File:Tolerance.jpg
    I’m a tolerant liberal! Agree with me you racist, sexist, islamaphobic, xenophobic, inbred, redneck, bible thumpi
    (302 × 314 (23 KB)) - 13:51, 19 August 2019
  • File:2019.03.14 Christchurch Shooter.png
    The Great Replacement. Manifesto of the Christ Church shooter. (It disgusts me that I have to deal with this drek to debunk the dishonesty of the media. B
    (676 × 986 (277 KB)) - 13:43, 15 March 2019
  • File:AntifaTolerance1.jpg
    ...BLM attacked conservatives the media decided to not be outraged? Yeah, me too! Media double standards.
    (726 × 752 (64 KB)) - 23:38, 9 August 2019
  • File:DunningKruger2.jpg
    ...]]: the "knowledge in field" paradox -- from "I know everything" to "Trust me. It's complicated".
    (769 × 505 (38 KB)) - 18:09, 28 January 2020
  • File:ItTicklesMe.jpg
    It tickles me that my vote cancels out Paul Krugman's.
    (432 × 310 (16 KB)) - 19:20, 23 August 2019
  • File:22shot.jpg
    ..., that Thomas Jefferson gave to Lewis and Clark for their expedition. Tell me again how the 2A was written for single shot muskets.
    (320 × 168 (24 KB)) - 21:20, 20 August 2019
  • File:M-Jussie-Trans.jpg
    ...e from McD's, I got assaulted by a couple trans with dildo's, but they let me keep our Big Macs.
    (847 × 957 (114 KB)) - 00:49, 19 February 2019
  • File:Logic-CherryPicking.jpg
    ...nd ignoring everything else. "'''''Let us ignore all the facts that prove me wrong, and focus on this instead.'''''"
    (180 × 217 (13 KB)) - 21:51, 17 August 2019
  • File:PP-Bill.jpg
    So let me get this straight... hundreds of thousands of women are marching because Tr
    (320 × 445 (26 KB)) - 22:09, 28 July 2019
  • File:NFLOffSeasonProtests.jpg
    ...out the NFL players who protested on their own time during the off season? Me neither. Because nobody cares: it's not about Free Speech, it's about subve
    (960 × 592 (46 KB)) - 14:27, 7 January 2020
  • File:HeilFewer.jpg
    The Fewer. Shhhh... don't call me that yet.
    (623 × 652 (79 KB)) - 22:05, 21 July 2019
  • File:Socialism-DemUtopia.png
    ..., no speech, single party control, sounds like Democrat Utopia.... reminds me of a book I read. (Orwell's 1984)
    (320 × 417 (100 KB)) - 13:05, 4 October 2019
  • File:NeilDiamondSweetCaroline.jpg
    CDC: avoid that too<br /> Neil: touching me<br />
    (610 × 428 (24 KB)) - 14:36, 2 March 2020
  • File:FallFromHeavenLucifer.jpg
    (Trump to Pelosi) Did you fall from Heaven? Because you remind me of Lucifer.
    (720 × 719 (49 KB)) - 16:16, 27 September 2019
  • File:Logic-FalseCausality.jpg
    ...nanas. And Women cause you to get fat and grey, proven by what happened to me after marriage. '''''Correlation is NOT causality!'''''
    (320 × 175 (14 KB)) - 21:55, 17 August 2019
  • File:AlyssaMilano.jpg
    Alyssa: Those that tell me not to tweet politics because I'm an uninformed celebrity are the same peop
    (540 × 444 (53 KB)) - 10:41, 5 October 2019
  • File:GunsAndDicksIntruders.jpg
    Woman: When a guy tells me he owns a gun, I'm like what's wrong with your dick? <br />Guy: last time I
    (640 × 577 (67 KB)) - 12:57, 28 August 2019
  • File:TotoAmazon.jpg
    ...er of Toto and have him reply back with the C-word in all caps, then block me. Life has exceeded my expectations."
    (1,233 × 1,469 (122 KB)) - 14:25, 26 August 2019
  • File:TakeThoseOff.jpg
    ...and panties", so I took off her bra and panties. Then she said "never let me catch you wearing my things, ever again".
    (480 × 528 (84 KB)) - 16:20, 17 August 2019
  • File:RatFuck2.jpg
    ...enced. Then a few months later, had to come back and hire some of us back (me included) with effusive apologies, and a bit of a raise, I might add. But t
    (573 × 625 (109 KB)) - 21:12, 6 October 2019
  • File:JarethHooked.jpg
    Again, body modifications can be fun... but they can go too far. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=409MhK-hhX0 Jareth] may have crossed ...hers). Enjoy it, have fun, then grow out of it. Hacking off your boobs and too many tattoos aren't exactly things you can grow out of. Which again, I'll l
    (598 × 620 (41 KB)) - 14:58, 4 November 2019