Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)

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I can't believe this was highly rated on RottenTomatoes (87/90%). On a 1-10, I'd give it a firm 3.5. It wasn't quite, I threw up and left bad -- but if it was any more derivative, it would have had TJ Hooker and Wesley Crusher busting bad guys in their Red and White Gran Torino, with Fred the Cockatoo cracking one liners at the end.

If the original series had been any more cheesy, it would have cheddar-dipped fondue. But at least they made an effort on the plots. This was completely derivative Wrath of Kahn remake, but skewed enough to be annoying. So for me, it was like watching the Wiz and comparing it to the Judy Garland version.

Going through my mind while watching it was:

  • been there, done that
  • cute one liner
  • rehash
  • nice effect, ha ha, rehash
  • this seems new... oh wait -- never-min
  • and "no, no, they're not really going to use that scene again!!"... yup, they did.
  • Oh, and again

Forget jumping the shark, this was to Star Trek what Jar Jar Binks or the ewok orgy at the end of episode 6 was to Star Wars.


Good cast, reasonable action and dialog, it only needed a story that didn't make me want to use a neuralizer on myself. I guess if you didn't know the original movies, you'd probably like this one -- it wasn't THAT bad, if you didn't have anything to compare it to.

If you see J.J. Abrams, punch him in the nose for not hiring better writers.